DOUBLE BIND
EVERY OPTION RESULTS IN HARM​
"Failure to protect" is an allegation charged against parents who were abused in the presence of their children, whether they:
REPORT ABUSE
DO NOT REPORT ABUSE
or
​This ethical paradox traps victims in an impossible situation, where they face punishment whether they speak up or stay silent.
The victim is punished for not preventing abuse in the first place,
and simply for being a victim.
We must not condemn the "wrong choice"
when we can not point to the "right choice."​
If the victim flees without reporting abuse, they could easily lose custody of their children to a violent and dangerous partner with no documented DV history who has more financial resources and a place to live.
"JUST LEAVE"
INJURY OR DEATH
LOSE CHILDREN TO VIOLENT PARTNER
LOSE CHILDREN TO FOSTER CARE
Leaving an abuser is not a simple act of choice but a calculation of survival. Without access to transportation, income, or safe housing, escape can mean exposing children to conditions that meet the state’s definition of neglect and can lead to loss of custody and the re-traumarization of children in foster care.
The period following separation is also the most dangerous, when victims face the highest risk of serious injury or death. In the absence of safe and sustainable options, remaining with the abuser can be the only way to preserve a family’s stability and keep children safe from further harm.
RISK OF HOMICIDE
INCREASES UP TO
750%
WOMEN WHO LEAVE A ABUSIVE PARTNER ARE
3.5X
MORE LIKELY TO BE KILLED THAN WOMEN WHO STAY
OF DV-RELATED HOMICIDES OCCUR AT OR JUST AFTER TIME OF SEPARATION
77%
INCREASE IN VIOLENCE FOR AT LEAST TWO YEARS
75%
VICTIMS WHO LEAVE ABUSER FACE A
RIGHT AFTER VICTIM
LEAVES ABUSER
When we give victims reason not to come forward,
we give abusers reason not to hold back.
"ASK FOR HELP"
Domestic violence hotline counselors, therapists, and family resource center personnel are mandated reporters who must notify authorities if a child has been exposed to domestic violence. Once it is discovered that children live in the home, the focus is no longer on helping the victim.
​
When CPS opens an investigation, they can obtain detailed provider notes that reveal personal information shared in confidence and use them to prove the victim's vulnerable state in court.
​
These are not safe spaces for parents to seek support.
CPS INTERVENTION:
FAILURE TO PROTECT
LOSE CHILDREN TO FOSTER CARE
LOSE CHILDREN TO VIOLENT PARTNER
CPS INTERVENTION:
FAILURE TO PROTECT
"GO TO A SHELTER"
DV shelters do save lives, but for survivors who are parents, entering one also exposes them to the threat of automatic CPS intervention and family separation, making the pursuit of safety a risk in itself. Documentation such as shelter intake forms, safety plans, and case notes can be used as evidence that victims cannot provide for their children, and they are often not even given 24 hours to get back on their feet.
OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
INVOLVES
FINANCIAL ABUSE
99%
1 in 4 DV SURVIVORS WHO SEEK SHELTER ACTUALLY GET IT
OF HOMELESS WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE FLEEING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
50%
LOSE CHILDREN TO FOSTER CARE
of victims reported fear
66%
of losing their children due to homelessness if
they left the relationship.
of child removals list housing instability or homelessness as a primary factor.
30%
When police arrest the perpetrator, they are often only detained for 12-24 hours, as they are assumed innocent until proven guilty.
Unless proven in criminal court, the police reports or DV allegations can not be used against the abuser in future custody proceedings, but the CPS reports and allegations can still be used against the victim, who is presumed guilty of failure to protect from abuse the abuser has been acquitted of.
1/2
Of DV victims say police response made things worse or did nothing to help
1/2
of protective orders are violated
MORE THAN
OF DV CHARGES ARE DISMISSED
LOSE CHILDREN TO FOSTER CARE
CPS INTERVENTION:
FAILURE TO PROTECT
LOSE CHILDREN TO VIOLENT PARTNER
"CALL 911"
The evidence and information collected by law enforcement is often provided to child welfare agencies, who use it to demonstrate the victim's perceived helplessness and obtain a warrant to remove the children from the home.
1/2
When we punish victims for speaking up,
we promote silence.
When child protection systems punish the act of seeking help, justice is turned upside down. Parents who report abuse to protect their children from further exposure are subjected to systemic investigation and penalties, while those who stay silent often escape it. When protection is prosecuted, victims learn that state intervention is the family's greatest risk.
OF DV VICTIMS CITE PROTECTING THEIR CHILDREN AS REASON FOR STAYING WITH ABUSER
60%
1 IN 3 VICTIMS AVOIDED SEEKING HELP DUE TO MANDATORY REPORTING
OF DV VICTIMS FEAR LOSING CUSTODY IF THEY FLEE
73%
WHEN A PARENT IS A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE,
EVERY CHOICE RESULTS IN PUNISHMENT.