When a victim regains freedom from abusive control,
we should not take control of their lives.
ABUSIVE INTERVENTION
Abusive control is the manipulative use of fear, coercion, and power to dominate another person’s autonomy. When child welfare systems monitor, pressure, and punish parents who report abuse, they can recreate the same dynamics of control the survivor is in need of support to escape. An agency that professes helping victims and their families must restore the survivor’s decision-making power and reinforce their right to safety and independence.
The Coercive Cycle of Control
Dismiss the impacts of abuse and trauma experienced by the victim
Punish the victim for seeking help or speaking out
Emphasize the victim’s shortcomings, disregard strengths
BY
ABUSERS
BY CHILD WELFARE AGENCIES
Maintain that the victim is incapable without their intervention and control
Demand constant communication and unrestricted access to the victim’s life
Assert themselves as the victim's top priority
Micromanage the victim’s schedule, interfering with employment and self-care
Put the victim down and criticize their parenting, often in front of children
Hold victim to unrealistic standards even they can not meet themselves
Threaten child custody loss to enforce compliance
Scrutinize and keep tabs on the victim’s housekeeping and routines
Share intimate, embarrassing details with the victim’s friends and family
Show up unannounced in attempt to catch the victim off-guard
Offer limited, suboptimal resources with significant strings attached
Solicit information about the victim from their community
Blame the victim for problems they are not responsible for
Undermine the victim’s credibility to push one-sided narrative
Use the victim’s past mistakes or trauma to qualify unrelated punitive actions
Publicly question the victim’s motives, moral character, and mental stability
Mandate the victim acknowledges and admits to their perceived inadequacy
Suggest the victim’s feelings don’t matter as long as their children are provided for
Exploit power imbalance to overstep the bounds of rightful authority
Cause extreme distress resulting in serious hardship and lasting trauma
Refuse to end relationship with the victim unless on their own terms
Claim to protect victim but cause more harm than benefit
Prevent the victim from leaving the state and to start a new life
Believe the victim’s vulnerability justifies this treatment
BY BOTH
TREATMENT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS
2X
Mothers who lose custody of a child are nearly
as likely to be diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.
4.5X
Mothers who's children were removed by CPS were
more likely to die by suicide than their biological sisters.
1 in 3 mothers involved with child welfare agencies experience PTSD symptoms.
6 in 10 mothers who had a child removed reported persistent, daily grief symptoms 1 year later.
